The First 4 Motherhood Scripts to Burn

Somewhere along the way, before we’re even moms yet, we are handed rules on how to do life as women.

Maybe not written down, or given to us in some formal handbook – but we absorb all the scripts just the same. 

The lines we’re supposed to say. 

The roles we’re supposed to play. 

The way we are supposed to look, feel, serve, and always smile.

And even if we never become mothers, we still can spend a lifetime tending to these implicit expectations. 

Be selfless. 

Be patient. 

Be quiet. 

Be small.

For a long time, I unknowingly played along too. It was the only way I thought I would be accepted. So like any traditional “good girl,” I worked hard to prove myself by meeting everyone else’s expectations of me, without any questions asked.

But when I myself became a mother, all of that began to change – and I started to question everything. 

I was striving to do it all, hold it all, and remember what everyone needed at all times — 

But I was constantly overextending myself and always burning out.

I was trying to be the family-first caretaker while also pulling off the balanced, ambitious modern mom that gracefully juggled work, home life, pickups, and all the other mental load without breaking a sweat – 

But over time, it was my sense of self that was bleeding out.

And I was trying to be the progressive, securely attached and emotionally regulated mom who somehow kept her s*** together while always putting everyone else first... 

But really, it was my own mental and physical well-being that were falling apart at every seam.

Every time I fell short of the impossible, I asked myself, “Why is motherhood so hard?” Turns out, there are some deeply inflaming reasons why.

Why The Scripts Will Break You (if you let them)

The truth is, the scripts we try so hard to follow weren’t written for us in the first place. They were written to control us — to keep women manageable, compliant and constantly giving. And they certainly don’t take into account our full humanity – they demand we shrink ourselves to fit a role, instead of expanding into who we truly are or can become.

And once you become a mom, the pressure not to take up space is amplified, but now at a time when life demands that you swell and stretch more than ever before.

We’re still expected to be selfless — but now it’s 24/7.

We’re still told to be patient — but now with little humans who need everything and often give nothing back.

We’re still pushed to stay small — but now while holding up entire families.

We’re supposed to be grateful, even when we’re exhausted. Giving, even when we’re empty. Gentle, even when we’re falling apart.

And somehow, through all of it, we’re also supposed to look good, stay productive, and never, ever ask for too much.

Motherhood magnifies the impossible.

It forces every unspoken expectation into the light. And for many, especially those of us who are neurodivergent or highly sensitive, or just simply done – it becomes a breaking point. 

Or it can be a crossroads.

See, you don’t have to live by those scripts. You can choose to resist someone else’s suppressive characterization of what it means to be a “good mom” and define it for yourself instead. Rather than submissively letting the scripts break you down, you can start living by your own bad ass rules and give yourself the motherhood experience YOU want.

We have the power to burn the BS, to live and mother how we choose, and love our lives all the more for it. All it takes is the courage to start setting those scripts on fire. 

Got that lighter ready? Here are the first four where you can start.

🔥 Script #1 –  “A good mom always puts her kids first.”  

This one sounds noble… until it burns out YOU.

I used to feel guilty for needing time alone, for wanting quiet, for dreaming about anything beyond snacks and school pickups. But I’ve learned that our kids don’t need a mom who’s always available.  

They need a mom who’s always human — and sometimes that means rest, boundaries, and joy for yourself too.

🔥 Script #2 – “You shouldn’t yell. Ever.”  

I tried so hard to be the calm, collected mom.

But when you're overstimulated, sleep-deprived, AND highly sensitive? Even the Hoover Dam couldn’t hold back all that fiery, physical rage. 

Instead of shaming yourself for losing it, focus on repair. Model humility. Own your tone and teach them what real healing (and human-ing) looks like.

 🔥 Script #3 – “If you were more disciplined, you could get it together.”  

Hear this — Routines are not the same as morality. And perfection? It’s a waste of time.

I don’t wake up at 5am for “me time.” I don’t meditate. I don’t feed my kids organic non GMO, home cooked meals. And more than I’d like to admit, I don’t get them to school on time.

But you know what else I don’t do? I don’t kick myself in the ass for any of it either. 

Some of us thrive better in flexibility and by creating systems that work with us, not against us. Discipline might work for some, but self-compassion is what saved me. Let yourself go with your own flow of life!

🔥 Script #4 – “You should be grateful.”  

How many times have we been told to “just be grateful” when we’re struggling? Like gratitude should somehow make all the exhaustion disappear. Like loving your kids should mean you never feel burnt out, overwhelmed, or done. 

Here’s the truth – Gratitude and grief can exist at the same time.

You can be thankful for your life — and still find it brutally hard.
You can love your kids — and still crave space from them.
You can be “blessed” — and still need help.

Gratitude doesn’t cancel pain. And it sure as hell doesn’t erase the very real struggles of motherhood, especially when you're neurodivergent, sensitive, or simply human.

You don’t owe anyone toxic positivity.
You owe yourself honesty. And you deserve your own compassion for the ways being a mom is uniquely hard for you.

 Burn, Baby, Burn.

In the end, I’m not here to conform to someone else’s version of motherhood. I’m here to build one that’s honest, sustainable, and mine. And ever since I began resisting those faulty scripts and impossible expectations, choosing instead to write my own? Well I’ve never been happier as a mom.

If you’re tired of trying to fit a mold that was never made for you either — light the match.

Burn the scripts. 

Reclaim your life.

You don’t need permission to do motherhood your own way — but if you’ve been waiting for it, here it is. And I’ll be right here, burning it down with you all the way.

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