Neurodivergent, not broken.

For a long time, I thought I was just bad at being a mom.

Hi there, I’m Keely — a late-diagnosed neurodivergent mom navigating life with ADHD, some autistic traits (I’ve never been officially diagnosed, but now I see them everywhere) – and, a deep knowing that moms like me were never meant to mother by someone else’s rules.

For a long time, I thought it was just me. Other moms seemed to know what to do, and they did it all so effortlessly, so I thought.

They managed their routines.

They packed the (organic, wholesome perfectly curated) lunches every day.

They made it to school, to work, to PTO — on time, somehow.

They didn’t cry in Target parking lots because their kids were kicking and screaming, refusing to get buckled up in the car seat.

They weren’t losing their sh*t at the endless “Mama! Mama!” squeals, or incessant pulling and pawing of little hands all over their bodies.

It was obvious to me, I was different. And I was overwhelmed. Scattered. Sensitive. Exhausted in a way that didn’t feel normal. For all of it, I blamed myself.

I thought:  

“If I could just be more patient…” 

“If I could just stop overreacting…”  

“If I could just get it together…”

And I tried all the things – lists, planners, new routines, timers (for everything), parenting podcasts (cause who really has the bandwidth to read the books?!), more and more deep breaths…

Then guilt…

And ultimately, shame.  

None of it worked. Because the problem wasn’t that I was broken. The problem was that I was trying to mother in a world that wasn’t built for a brain and nervous system like mine.

The Day Everything Changed 

It wasn’t one huge “aha” moment  — it was more like a slow aging and unearthing of something deep I’d always known about myself but managed to overlook once I became a mom. That and also many, many late nights Googling things like:

- “Why do I get so overstimulated as a mom?”

- “Is it normal to hate being a mother?”

- “Why does motherhood feel so hard for me?”

Eventually, those searches and my own journeying into the painful depths of my motherhood experience arrived me at answers and new insights I didn’t expect — and somehow, even as a therapist, never saw them coming.

ADHD. 

Autism. 

High Sensory sensitivity. 

Executive dysfunction (Hello, 40’s).

Social Anxiety.

OCD.

Neurodivergence.

That was it! Suddenly, I had a name for my experience, and the pieces started clicking into place.

I wasn’t failing.  

I wasn’t lazy, or dramatic, or fragile.  

I was divergent. Neurodivergent, in fact.

Motherhood makes everything bigger.

Here’s the thing – motherhood magnifies the parts of ourselves we’d otherwise learned to tame, or hide, or live with.

Before kids, I could “mask” my differences and work around them. My big emotions and perceptive sensitivities? My constant internal angst? I coped. I adapted. I went for runs, or stayed up late watching tv, or drank wine until it would all feel quiet inside.

But once I became a mom, my coping strategies fell apart – or I just no longer had the time to use any of them.

There’s no off-switch as a new mom. You’re always on, always doing, anticipating, planning or worrying about the next thing. And for those of us who are neurodivergent, that kind of pace and constant pressure can feel like drowning.

It’s only when I stopped blaming myself and started understanding myself instead — that’s when everything shifted.

I’m not a broken mom. I’m a divergent one.

I don’t always get it right. I still forget the field trip forms. I still feel selfish when I take time for myself before picking up the kids at the end of the day. And I still melt down right alongside them sometimes too when I’m overwhelmed, when I’m irritable, when I’m too hot, too tired, too hungry, too <insert any other sensory need here>.  But at least now, I also know this:

💥 My sensitivity is my strength.  

💥 My “messy brain” and deeply feeling nervous system are also wildly creative, and so, so full love.  

💥 And my refusal to follow the rules? Well that’s just how new ones get made.

Being a neurodivergent mom is hard — but it’s also powerful. We’re not just parenting, we’re reparenting ourselves, and showing up every day on that journey without a map. We may struggle, but we’re also forging something beautiful out of all the chaos too.

So if you’ve ever felt like the way you mother is “wrong,” “too much,” or “not enough”...I want you to know this —

You are not broken.

There are real legitimate reasons for your struggles, and this is the space where you can explore the possibly answers and finally find the permission you need to truly just be YOU.

Want to hear more encouragement like this? Get on my list for all the affirming information, resources and tips that help you remember YOU are enough too! 💜👇